Sunday, October 14, 2012

Baby Blues

I feel like I am having de ja vu from when Mckinley was born. We had a super easy first week, and then things got a little difficult. The same thing is happening now. Things were awesome in the beginning, and now I am on day 5 of having the baby blues. Wearing mascara is mostly pointless. So it all started last Wednesday when I upgraded my phone to IOS 6 (dumbest move ever....don't do it!) and lost all the contacts in my phone. That got me crying for hours and hours. Couldn't stop. I knew that part of why I was crying was just the hormones, but either way, I couldn't stop.

Then Thursday we took the twins in for their 2 week check up. Babies are supposed to be back up to their birth weight by 2 weeks. Well, both of our babies had lost weight instead of gained any. Which is of course concerning. So the doctor wants me to supplement them after their feedings, either with breast milk or formula. And then pump a little to increase my supply. I think I produce enough, but they fall asleep and stop eating before they are full. So anyway, ever since Thursday I have been bursting into tears at random times, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for no reasons at all. But seriously, worrying about them getting enough food is so stressful and is kind of killing me.

Breastfeeding is not going well anymore. They're not latching very well so I have to use a shield, and even then, it is hurting pretty bad. I am so tempted to quit!!! But I pushed through with Mckinley and it was so worth it so I am praying (literally) for the strength to push through.

Kallie and Tyler themselves are awesome. They are super content babies and don't cry very much. They sleep pretty well at night. They start out a little fussy but then definitely give us some good hours of sleep. So there isn't too much to complain about. One good thing too is that since they're not gaining any weight, they also don't poop. I have only changed a handful of poopy diapers and they are two weeks old. Even though it's definitely not a good sign, I'm enjoying that part of it while it lasts.

Mckinley is totally awesome and so sweet with the babies. She is very good and patient and totally matured since they came home. She is so much more obedient, goes down so well for naps and bedtime, and is just a joy to have around. She asks multiple times a day to go to her cousin Brynlee's house, and I do feel bad that she is so home bound, so I'm going to try go get her out playing with other kids more, but we are so lucky that she has been so easy with this new adjustment.

A few things I want to remember because I don't have a journal for the twins yet. Their umbilical cords fell off at four days. Tyler has only peed once during a diaper change and he shot it straight into his own mouth (I felt so bad about it, but oh his expression was funny). They both rolled over from stomach to back at just 2 weeks old.

Sorry for the lack of pictures, I haven't made time to upload them to the computer yet.


Trent & Emily Davies said...

Hang in there things will get better! We all go through that same baby blues stage but you get double the dose for having twins!

I was going to post the other day and say how amazing you are! After baby #3 for me I posted like once every month and barely posted pictures to facebook and you have a blog a couple times a week and are always on instagram!! You are a wonder Mom!!

Hang in there with the breastfeeding. Like you said it WILL get easier and its so worth it. But if you decide to stop don't let it bother you. Sometimes the benefits of breastfeeding just aren't worth the pain and the tears!! Either way its your decision you know whats best for you and your babies!

Hang in there! If you need anything let me know!

Amanda&Wade said...

Oh you are doing so great! Don't get down on yourself for the feeding problem. It is SO HARD! My second child I finally had to give up breastfeeding after 2 months. It was heartbreaking!!! I felt like a complete failure and cried for days about it. I felt like everyone was judging me, and mostly... I felt like a bad mother! I now realize that I did what was best for my baby... and for me! Hang in there. You are a wonderful mama and doing an amazing job. Talking about it is the best thing you can do. Love you, call me if you need a listening ear!!

nora.lakehurst said...

I would pray about the breast feeding. Just because you feel so strongly about it. I wanted to do it for my children. I pumped for four months with the first two. Then I just couldn't for the next two. And I dont regret it at all. And it was all thanks to prayer.
Also ANYTIME!! Seriously Im going to just show up and just take your hand and help you for a while each day if you wanted me too. I do not live far and it doesnt hurt me to drive. SO let me help you. YOu have my number LOVE YOU!

mharris said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon Stephanie! The babies will start eating better and everything will turn out the right way :)Just keep moving forward. I'm glad McKinley is being such a good girl for you.