Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Thoughts on Twins

I think because we have to do IVF to get our babies, the thought of twins was always kind of cool. Two for the price of one. We were so sad to find out Mckinley wasn't a twin. And we were so excited when we found out I was pregnant with Tyler and Kallie, especially when we found out it was a girl and a boy. They were super fun in the beginning, as hard as it was to feed them. But I'll tell ya, the entire year they were one was just plain HARD. I keep thinking it will get easier but I'm still waiting.... No, it has gotten a little easier over the last month or two. But just a little. Mostly it's still hard and I am realizing I really was not cut out for twins. I'm just glad they won't have any memories of this time in their life and how awful their mother is. Hopefully by the time they are older I will figure this Mom thing out.

This is pretty typical. Both of them crying uncontrollably after a nap. Absolutely nothing I could do to help them. So I just took a picture. And counted down the hours till Brandon got home from work. Pretty much a daily habit.

Now, when they are cute, they are SUPER cute. And when they are fun, the are INCREDIBLY fun. Here they are brushing each other's teeth. :)

I really am holding out hope that one day they will be best friends.

They climbed up on the couch together and then Kallie put her arm around Tyler. See? So cute!

Now that Tyler realized he can get out of bed, he has a new nightly ritual of going into Kallie's room and reading books with her by the light that comes in from the hallway. It's adorable.

Everyone that knows me knows I have really struggled this last year. For the most part, it is not a year I want to remember well. I think my twin miscarriage was a little easier to handle knowing that I probably would have died having two sets of twins back to back that were so close together. Those twins were due on March 7th which means I would have had them in February, making them less than two and a half years younger than these guys. That would have been HARD! I still would have preferred to do that though instead of have them both die. That was super sad.

It really does feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel with these guys. They get along a lot better than they used to and I see them playing together a lot. They still fight a lot, but I think they consider each other to be a friend. I love watching them learn and grow together.


Cyleste said...

So sad that you lost so many babies. But the three you have are beautiful and oh so fun!